If you are a family person with a love of a traditional Christmas Day, this diary entry might not be for you. If you are open to alternative views, feel out of place about the season or feel like the black sheep of the family then have a seat and read on.

The UK is in full Christmas mode; the city lights are lit and shining, the overpriced menus are displayed in restaurants, and the supermarkets are going bonkers with jams (the car type) and trolley rage.

Every year, it seems a bigger and bigger deal is made about Christmas and the dreaded Christmas lunch. Every year, I find myself becoming more and more bothered by the big day and – let’s keep it real shall we – the obligatory roast dinner with a bunch of hoo-ha. I’m vegan with a strong nut allergy, by the way, so the traditional festivities ship sailed some time ago without me. If you're looking for some vegan Christams inspo, BBC Food has an array of lovely ideas.

Whilst it may be a time for family and friends to come together, Christmas Day and the festive time in general can be a distressing and lonely period. I’m a big Christmas person don’t misunderstand, but in a particular fashion. I love the build-up, spending time with my boys, soul family, wandering fairy lit places  and Christmas Eve is the best day of the year as far as I am concerned. Christmas morning is also beautiful, especially when children are young and  Santa is real, but the rest of it  – you can keep.

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I find a certain level of fake-ness and insincerity about Christmas Day and its lunch. Whether you stay home or go out it’s an overpriced, stressful meal and occasion. In the past, I would be obliged to spend it with people who frankly made me anxious, questioned my existence and drained my energy. I’d be doing things I didn’t want to do and getting exceptionally stressed. I would feel inappropriate unless I observed the ‘normal’ and put every man and his goat before me.

Yet most of these people and traditions, I am supposed to endure, are seldom there for me the rest of the year. They never call to ask how I am and vice versa. Maybe an odd bit of communication, but it’s surface at best. I don’t understand, therefore, why suddenly, on this tinsel of a day, I have to pretend and spend the period all out of whack. Isn’t this the opposite of what Christmas stands for? Where is the love joy and peace?

It’s like the annual churned-out message from all the do-gooders about how no one should be alone at Christmas. Perhaps not, but what about the rest of the year? Where are they then? Not all, I admit, but many rock up with a roast for a vulnerable person for that one day, top their own karma points up then fuck off for the next 12 months.

I think we can conclude I’m not a fan of the day or the lunch paraphernalia. This year, I have decided to look sideways and do it differently. Spend it how I want to which will involve upsetting certain people. People, I am not supposed to upset according to politically correct rules. Here’s the thing though,  there are no rules. We make our own.

So, the boys and I are veering off the beaten path a little this year and doing it our way, in the same way we live the rest of our lives. We’re not quite sure how it will pan out… it might be a Christmas picnic by the river weather-dependent, or coffee with a Yorkshire pud and pals or sightseeing for the day with a packed lunch. In any event, we are looking forward to it. Who cares how you do Christmas Day? Just do you. Being genuine, loving and powerful IS  what Christmas is about not playing pretend and being fake.

If you love the traditional day, people and turkey on the table, that too is cool. I’m happy for you. However, it is also OK not to invite parents, siblings, and the drunk uncle no one knows. It’s OK to disappear to an all-inclusive resort, it’s OK to say you're not cooking, it’s OK to go and camp in the woods with your dog. It’s OK to do what you want to do. It is not wrong, selfish or in poor taste. It is selfish of others to expect you to dance to their tune, so to make them feel better. Be kind and caring as a given, but always stay true to yourself

Regardless of who you are with, where you are and what you eat– Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Big BIG sorcery love to all.

Annaliese

A journal is a fantastic symbol to use in your life or gift to another. Check out these new magical journals at my store. Perfect for an alternative Christmas too.