If you are a big family person with a love of the traditional Christmas Day, this diary entry might not be for you. If you are open to alternative views, though, feeling out of place about the season or feeling like the black sheep of the family. Have a seat and read on.

The UK is in full Christmas mode; the city lights are lit and shining, the overpriced menus are displayed in restaurants, and the supermarkets are going bonkers with jams (the car type) and trolley rage.

Every year, it seems a bigger and bigger deal is made about Christmas and the dreaded Christmas Lunch. Every year, I find myself becoming more and more bothered by the big day and – let’s keep it real shall we – the obligatory roast dinner with a bunch of hoo-ha. I’m vegan with a strong nut allergy by the way, so the traditional festivities ship has already sailed without me before I even mention anything else. (If you're looking for some vegan Christams inspo BBC Food has an array of ideas.

Whilst it may be a time for family and friends to come together Christmas Day, or the festive time in general, can be a distressing and lonely period. I’m a big Christmas person, don’t misunderstand, but in a particular fashion. I love the build-up, spending time with my boys and soul family, feeling cosy, reviewing the year, and Christmas Eve is the best day of the year as far as I am concerned. Christmas morning can also be beautiful, especially when children are young enough to have the Santa magic in flow but the rest of it  – you can keep.

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I find a certain level of fake-ness and insincerity in Christmas Day and the Christmas lunch. It’s an overpriced, stressful meal and occasion, whether you stay home or go out. In the past, I would be obliged to spend time with people who frankly made me anxious, questioned my existence and drained my energy. I’d be doing things I didn’t want to do and getting exceptionally stressed. I would feel to be inappropriate unless I observed the ‘normal’, maintained it and put every man and his goat first before me.

Yet most of these people and traditions, which I am supposed to endure, are seldom there for me the rest of the year. They never call to ask how I am and vice versa. Maybe an odd bit of communication but it’s surface at best. I don’t understand, therefore, why suddenly, on this tinsel of a day, I have to pretend and spend the period all out of whack. Isn’t this the opposite of what Christmas stands for? Where is the love joy and peace?

It’s like the annual churned-out message from all the do-gooders about how no one should be alone at Christmas –perhaps not, but what about the rest of the year? Where are they then? Not all, I admit, but many rock up with a roast for a vulnerable person for that one day, top their own karma points up then fuck off for the next 12 months.

I think we can conclude I’m not a fan of the day or the lunch paraphernalia. This year I decided to look sideways, at doing it differently and what I generally wanted, which would upset certain people. People, I am not supposed to upset according to the politically correct rules. Here’s the thing though, there are no rules. We make our own.

So, me and the boys are veering off the beaten path a little this year and doing it our way, in the same way we live the rest of our lives. We’re not quite sure how it will pan out… it might be a Christmas picnic by the river weather-dependent, or coffee with a Yorkshire pud and pals or sightseeing for the day with a packed lunch. In any event, we are looking forward to it. Who cares how you do Christmas Day, just do you. Being genuine, loving and powerful IS people, what Christmas is about to me not playing pretend and being fake. 

If you love the traditional day, people and turkey on the table, that too is cool. I’m happy for you. However, it is also OK not to invite parents, siblings, and the drunk uncle no one knows. It’s OK to disappear to an all-inclusive resort, it’s OK to say you're not cooking, it’s OK to go and camp in the woods with your dog. It’s OK to do what you want to do. It is not wrong, selfish or in poor taste. It is selfish of others to expect you to dance to their tune, so to make them feel better. Be kind and caring as a given but always stay true to yourself

Regardless of who you are with, where you are and what you eat – Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Big BIG sorcery love to all.

Annaliese

A journal is a fantastic symbol to use in your life or gift to another. Check out these new magical journals at my store. Perfect for an alternative Christmas too.